Discover the transformative power of understanding and navigating the process of grieving. Gain understanding, find comfort, and move forward with hope.
What is grieving?
When someone transitions, the people who stay behind need to grieve. This means, need to process the fact that they won’t see and talk to the person anymore.
Each person grieves differently, and there is no time limit to grief. The sooner is better, but it depends on the relationship you had with the person and how he/she passed. It depends on your experiences and your faith. There isn’t one way to grieve.
What is happening during the time of grief?
If you were not in a good relationship with the person, you might feel guilty about what happened and not have the chance to make peace with him/her.
Some other people start questioning what happened, and where the person goes after he/she transits. So many questions are asked about death.
You might start thinking about your death, what you will leave behind, and see how you can make it easy for the people who will stay behind you.
It is good to talk and let it out. When you are in shock about the event, you might say you’re fine with the death, and you go back to your routine as usual. You keep everything inside, maybe because you don’t know how to express yourself, or maybe you’re so sure you did grieve.
If you don’t grieve, it can appear physically; your emotions kept inside start to create a negative energy in your body. You can feel sick or have pain in your body.
And one day, something happens. You’ve been triggered by something or someone who reminds you of the person that you lost, and then you break. You start crying and you don’t inner-stand why and what is happening.
That’s when it’s time for you to stay alone or be with someone close, and meditate on what just happened. Sometimes it helps when you talk to someone because they can relate to the fact that you didn’t grieve and now it is hitting you. And your grieving process starts.
What can help you? It is being surrounded by family members of the deceased.
What is after the grief?
You made peace that you won’t see the person anymore. It doesn’t hurt as much. You won’t forget about him/her; you will have your memories. You learn to live with the absence of the person. When you go to certain places or have a certain conversation that will remind you of him/her, it won’t affect you as much. You won’t cry every time, but you will probably have a smile on your face as you think of the conversation you had with them. Or remembering the place you were with him/her.
The person who passed away wouldn’t want you to stay sad, but keep living your life fully and in joy.
Most people fear death and have an image of it as something tragic and horrible. That is why the whole experience is hard on the people who are left behind.
Death is another step in life, like birth. There is a different cycle in life, and death is one of them. Nothing to be afraid of. We were programmed by culture, religion, and others that the way we live here on earth will determine what will happen when we die. So, this is a fear we live with during our lives, no matter how we proceed or think of it.
For some people, we are eternal. Because our soul never dies, only our physical body is left behind here on earth. So, they are not afraid of death because it is another step to a life in a higher dimension. For those people, it doesn’t mean they are not sad or don’t need to grieve. Grieving is a process for all human beings. It will only affect them less as they know we never really die.
In certain cultures, after they bury the lost one, they stay together in the same house for a few days. They talk, laugh, and share stories about the deceased. So, during that time, you can cry and laugh at the same time. It is a process for you to grieve, so when you go back to your place, you won’t feel depressed on your own.
See article: https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#5-stages
Quotes: “Grief is a curious thing, when it happens unexpectedly. It is a band-aid being ripped away, taking the top layer off a family. And the underbelly of a household is never pretty, ours no exception.” Jodi Picoult
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect. It makes you human.” Sarah Dessen