Navigating the Journey from Abuse to Empowerment
When you are being abused, it traumatizes you. The person wants all control over you. He/she knows your weakness, and that is the point he/she is using for you to obey. Experiencing abuse can have a profound impact on your life, your well-being, and mental health. It can be physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial.
The emotional abuse
In this case, the abuser is a weak person. So, to show that he/she is strong, he needs to make you feel small, and he wants to diminish you for you to be below him. Your quality and your strength will become your weakness in the eyes of your abuser. Everything you will do, will be wrong, what you say, the way you look at him or other people. It will sound like everything you want to express or do; you need to ask permission. He will minimize your feelings; humiliate you,and in the end, will say “I’m sorry” or buy you a gift. He/she knows how to manipulate you.
This kind of abuse often leads to emotional stress, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and low self-esteem.
The physical abuses
In this case, unfortunately, there is emotional and physical abuse. Both at the same time. If your abuser feels like when he/she tells you something, you respond the wrong way according to him, he/she will insult you and say mean words. Then it will start being physical and start heating you.
This leads to injuries, chronic pain, and long-term health issues.
Being abused can impact social life and relationships. It becomes difficult to trust and form connections or maintain healthy boundaries.
How to recognize an abuser
Sometimes when you meet that person, you won’t know for months or a year. When the person starts asking you:
· Who are you talking with on the phone?
· Why are you dressing the way you did, asking you to go change?
· Where were you after work?
· Why are you spending time with your friends and family?
· And so many other questions?
They usually start with the questions. If you show that you’re independent and you don’t want to answer to anyone, the person will wait a few weeks. Then you will hear bad things about your friends and family members and how they don’t deserve you, etc. You will start to question yourself, be paranoid, and be in a state that your abuser wants.
When he/she knows you are exactly where he/she wants you to be, then this person can start controlling your thoughts, activities, and everything. Before you know it, you won’t be going out, you won’t have any friends, and you will obey everything the abuser tells you.
Then, you will start to feel depressed, with low confidence, confused, and lost.
As soon as you see the signs, you need to remove yourself from this relationship. It can be a sentimental, professional, or social relationship.
If you are already in a relationship of abuse, you need to find a way to get help. Your abuser will make you believe that no one can help you. Please don’t believe him/her. You need to believe in yourself, be strong, and find a way without being caught. You need to know that when you seek help, there is no way back. So be prepared mentally and physically to free yourself.
It won’t be easy because you will feel you have nothing material-wise, no money, so how can you leave? You will find a way, a new beginning. The abuser is counting on those aspects. He thinks that since you own nothing, you will stay.
You are not alone and you will always find someone who will be willing to help you. There are organizations everywhere to help you with the first steps.
You need to prepare a plan and be ready. Have someone you can call, a house where you can stay for a few days.
While you’re preparing your plan, you need to work on your mental health, be strong, and say positive affirmation phrases such as “I’m strong”, “I will succeed”, and “I am capable”.
You will need strength to go through your plan.
When you are free from your abuser, it is important to take care of yourself and heal from the abuse.
You need to heal the fear, gain back your self-confidence, and love yourself. You will find different therapies that can help with this. Building a support network with friends and family or a therapist can provide emotional guidance.
Healing and Recovery:
Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and healthy habits can aid in recovery.
Setting Boundaries: Learning to set and enforce personal boundaries is crucial in preventing future abuse and maintaining healthy relationships.
Empowerment and Advocacy: Finding empowerment through advocacy, sharing experiences, or helping others in similar situations can be part of the healing process
Quotes: “It is not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and
the scars on the mind.” AISHA MIRZA
“Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment. domination to subtle manipulation.” Beverly Engel
“I was heartbroken, scared, I had a lot of anxiety, I was worried, I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I knew I had to get out of there.” Casey